London's property porn

Londoner's have more reasons to be obsessed by property prices than those living elsewhere on the sceptered and emerald isles. House prices are astronomically high and many accidental millionaires have been created out of being fortunate to own homes in particular areas.

London is now a giant board of monopoly with literally every postcode having a shot. And so have the estate agents who have fuelled the bubble over the years - you know who I mean- the Foxtons,  Hamptons, Chesterton Humberts and Savills of this world. The good and bad thing is that everyone pretends not to be interested in the matter but are indeed interested and take pride and joy in knowing that the house values in their areas no matter how grotty are sky rocketing beyond the reach of mere mortals. This is more so in inner London which has become untouchable by the standards of most people living in the UK, it has long become a market for foreign investors.

The estate agents and their property magazines and internet sites such as Right Move and Zoopla are at the cutting edge of fuelling London's appetite for property porn. That obsession with keeping up with the values of your home, street, postcode and patch of London through the internet, Evening Standard and the many area-focused property magazines such as the Move to, Absolute and Resident brands.  The property market in London can thus be categorised along the following biblical pecking order:

1.  The Inner Sanctuary  (super prime London - nearly all Zone 1s) - Chelsea, Kensington, Holland Park, Belgravia, Knightsbridge, Notting Hill, St Johnswood, Hampstead, Primrose Hill, Regents Park, Marylebone, Mayfair

2.  The Inner Temple (Prime London - Mostly Zone 2s long gentrified areas) - Richmond, Barnes, High Gate, Pimlico, Victoria, Wimbledon/Wimbledon Village, Putney, Clapham, Islington, North Dulwich & Dulwich Village, Fulham, Chiswick, Parsons Green, Battersea, Wandsworth, Docklands, Clerkenwell, Bayswater, Paddington, Earls Court, East and West Finchley, Golders Green, Belsize Park, Covent Garden, Muswell Hill, Harrow-on-the Hill

3.  The Outer Temple (mix of zone 2s & 3s with some prime outer London areas - usually trendy and hip inner London quarters or expensive outer London) - Bermondsey Riverside, Kings Cross, Euston, West Hampstead, Fitzrovia, Bloomsbury, Highbury, Canonbury, Queens Park, Camden town,  Crouch end, Shoreditch and Hoxton, London Bridge, Borough, Balham, Herne Hill, East Dulwich, Blackheath, Kentish Town, Hammersmith, Shepherds Bush, Ealing,  Greenwich, Twickenham, Barnet, Dalston, Stoke Newington, Victoria Park, Kensal Rise, Ladbroke Grove/North Kensington Barons Court, Hendon, Chalk Farm

4.  The Forecourt (mix of zone 2s and 3s - newly gentrified or fast gentrifying) -  Brixton & Brixton Hill, Clapham North, Camberwell, Stockwell, Hackney, Clapton, Forest Hill, Crystal Palace, Kennington, Vauxhall, Acton, Tooting Bec, Wilsden Green, Kilburn, Bethnal Green, Bow, Whitechapel, Peckham, Southfields, Earlsfileds, South Wimbledon, Bermondsey, New Cross,  ,

5.  The Yard (zones 3-5 - slow but gradually gentrifying) - Harrow, Stratford, Ilford, Wanstead, Streatham, Wilesden etc,  Isleworth, Hounslow, Gypsy Hill, West Norwood, Tulse Hill, South Twickenham, Pinner, Tooting,  Nunhead, Sydenham, Brockley

6. The Backyard (zones 4-6 mainly but includes ungentrified inner london patches) - Barking, Dagenham, East Ham, Plaistow, Leyton, Walthamstow, Tottenham, Morden, Mitcham, Harlesden, Neasden, Stepney,  Lewisham, Hithergreen, Charlton, Catford, Forestgate, Plaistow, Romford, Feltham, Penge, Anerley, Leytonstone, Norbury, Bromley-by Bow

7.  The Provinces (zone 4-6 and beyond and usually does not have a London Postcode) -   Bromley, Beckenham, Teddington, Sutton, the Croydons, Enfield, Hampton, Bexley, Chislehurst, Havering,  Hampton, UXbridge, Hillingdon, Kingston, Surbiton, Norbiton, High Barnet